How much of your work day is engineered and carefully planned and how much of your day just happens. Do you find most days that you feel productive and accomplished? Or do you more often feel frustrated and overwhelmed, like there are a million things on your plate you haven’t gotten to.
Have you learned when to say YES and when to say NO? A while back I related a story about a woman I know who has had several opportunities to meet in person with the Dalai Lama. She got to sit and drink tea with him one day while he was going about his morning routine.
Over tea he would review his mail and all the requests that were made of him – and apparently there are plenty. What impressed her was how quickly he sorted through all of it. He’d look through each piece and say YES, NO, NO, YES, YES – as he sorted each item into the yes or no stack. What she learned was that he was able to do that very easily because he knows EXACTLY what his agenda is and so he knows what fits and what doesn’t, and he told he never feels bad about saying no. Just like that.
I’m including that story again because I think it’s something to aspire to. Learning when to say yes and when to say no. Like everyone else, I get a lot of different ideas coming through all the time and in the past year I’ve had a good number of offers for business partnerships and joint ventures.
I’ve started to pay close attention to how these things make me feel after learning just a little bit about them. Some make me feel instantly tired and overwhelmed. Those go in the NO pile. Others make me feel energized and/or curious. Those go in the YES or future ideas pile.
I don’t have complete finesse yet – I think I objected a little too strenuously to a friend and client the other day and I felt really bad about it. I was certain I knew what was right in the situation and it was time to say no. There are ways to do that ‘correctly’. I cleared it up and so I’m learning moderation too.
It’s the same though, for daily activities. Knowing what activities move you toward you goals and which don’t. Hint: obsessive email checking and playing Farmville don’t. If you’re able to periodically turn off (or away from) email and IM and even the phone if that rings a lot, you’re on the right track.
Try making a list of what you want to get done and sort it out by priorities for the day or week. Then write down what you actually do on a given day – do that for a week if you can stand it. This exercise was eye-opening for me because I learned that there were a good number of things on my to-do list that I spent way more time thinking about then they actually took me to do. I sort those smaller tasks and do them all in a couple of hours and feel really accomplished.
There’s too much information, there’s too much to do, and it’s just not all important. When you figure out what is, and you make those things happen consistently, you’ll find the quality of your life improves, and so does your bank account.
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Dan, Thanks for your comment – I agree wholeheartedly. Knowing where you stand does makes a difference, then it’s easier to stand up for yourself, and know what fits or doesn’t fit in with your values or business agenda. Amy